week three - monday night (jack & newt)

[eisenundblut]

[Any time of day is a good time of day to get drunk, if you ask Prussia. But she had things to take care of during the day; mostly settling that stupid aristocrat's affairs, because if Austria was a pain in the ass while she was alive, she certainly wasn't about to be less of one now that she's dead.

But Jack made her a very good offer on Saturday, so here she is to finally take him up on it, knocking twice on the door with the same kind of sharp one-two knock a police officer might use to serve a warrant. She's had a bad time.

At whoever opens the door first, she'll offer a crooked smile. It's clear her heart isn't in it.]

That offer to get drunk still open, or did you guys drink it all without me?

Comments

[almosthandsome]

I honestly didn't realize I would be Grand Booze Poobah and in the interests of not getting murdered, I took requests.

[They have booze, don't they? Geeze! He's even sharing it! He doesn't have to.]

Right? It's disgusting! [But Jack takes the bottle and a hearty swig. Oh shit. Oh that burns and it tastes like acid gasoline.]

[That's okay, though, because he's glad he asked. That's a good story. Or...sort of story. It's a nice thing to think about, a couple of chicks and balcony bondage.]

...Any fashion espionage mission that ends up in kinky sex games is a good one in my book! Sucks you can't remember it, that sounds like a hell of a fun night! Ahhhh...I miss fun nights.

[completelycrazy]

So take some requests. Not exclusively requests. [Now they have to suffer and it's your fault, Jack.

...That is quite a story, though.] Were you, like, okay? France sounds kind of mean.

[Herr Buzzkill is on the case, sorry.

Wait, though. Newt frowns.] Fashion espionage? What?

[eisenundblut]

We get out of here? You're invited to Berlin, too. I'll extend my awesome invitation to you, too!

[She points at Jack and winks. So what if he's from space, it's Hetalia. They can find a way.

The absinthe is in Jack's hands, so she just reaches to try to take the rum from Newt to take another drink. She just wants to get as drunk as quickly as she can with the least amount of effort.]

Nah, France is okay. She's... she's really fancy-looking, but there's nobody faster to try to strip everyone's clothes off just for fun. We fought a lot over the years, but we're good friends. Me, her, and Spain would go out and fuck shit up, kesesese...

[She waves a hand.]

Nein, nein, like I said, the fashion spying was earlier. Absinthe was really popular with France in uhh... might've been 1850? 1860? Somewhere around there. Spying on her fashion was back when I first became a kingdom in 1701! Around then. My boss said looking wild like a little bird wasn't cool enough, so he sent me to France to see what she was doing. Russia was there too...

[almosthandsome]

Uh, this France chick sounds awesome! I want a fancy lady to strip off my clothes... hallucinatory almost-sex doesn't count.

Has anybody else noticed it's like all kids around here? Sucks for so many reasons.

[The options suck, as far as having that kind of fun. He takes another drink and sets the absinthe down where Prussia can easily reach it. Yeah, it's hitting pretty nicely already.]

Also, I don't think 'Berlin' exists where I'm from, sweetheart, but thanks. If that's an Earth place, I'm from like...way, way after Earth's long gone.

[completelycrazy]

Oh, you meant... literal outfits. [???] Why'd you need to spy for that?

[He takes another swig of rum before passing it off to Prussia. He is maybe the tiniest bit concerned that she is pounding the liquor a little too hard, but she's a grown woman (country???) and he's not about to police her.]

...It does suck, yeah, for a lot of reasons besides hallucination sex. [dude wtf???]

This jerk got to hallucinate his girlfriend dirty-talking him while the rest of us were busy fending off aliens and stuff. [He says this to Prussia, of course. Gonna talk about you like you're not here, Jack!!]

[eisenundblut]

[She turns the rum over in her hands, smiling a little.]

You need to remember this was the 1700s, Newt. Couldn't Google it!! You wanted to know what another country was doing, you had to fuckin'... go there yourself. France was hot shit back then; every kingdom who wanted to be somebody had to act like her. Even had to speak her stupid language. Va te faire foutre!!

[Her French 'kiss my ass' has a definitely German accent to it, but it's passable. If either of the old men in this hut can understand French, that is.

She takes a quick drink from that before passing it back. Yeah, that should be enough. Just need to wait for it to kick in now as she leans back on her hands. She wants to pursue that Earth's gone bit, because, uh, hello?? That's literally her entire life?? But gets distracted easily by hallucinatory sex.]

Wirklich? You're kidding, kesesese!! I got to talk to Old Man Fritz and Old Man von Salza, but you won out, Jack!!

[almosthandsome]

Hey, she's not my girlfriend, and there was...other stuff, too. Not fun stuff. But yeah, some of it was dirty and fun. What can I say, I'm a man of needs.

[Jack shrugs and spreads his hands. He's a ridiculously good looking single guy in the prime of his life, he has needs. That aren't being met on Moron Murder Island.]

And fashion's serious business, stealing designs is stupid lucrative. Do you have any idea what I pay for high fashion items? More than a lot of people pay for their houses. It's a big deal, among the wealthy.

[Says the man who most often wears a patched and stitched old company shirt. But it's been with him since he first joined Hyperion in his early 20s. It's special. He's attached to it.]

[completelycrazy]

[Newt is still unclear on why fashion was worth spying over, but okay??? He's technically kind of in the military, but he so doesn't understand strategy stuff like that. Maybe it was worth it, who knows.

And he laughs at the "kiss my ass," which he has just enough French to understand. He agrees--what a dumb language.]

Both of you made out better than me. I got Kaiju. Heard 'em knocking around outside the hut all night. Hiro was saying how it was weird that I got Kaiju while most other people got to talk to people from home. Not everyone, but most.

[He takes another drink, not sure if he's jealous or not.]

[eisenundblut]

[With most things #Hetalia it's usually best not to think about them too much.]

Yeah, I remember you saw some shit like that. Sucks.

[She pats Newt's shoulder heavily in sympathy.]

Think we all saw bad shit, but there was good mixed in, too. I don't wanna stay up watching the robots during something like that again, anyway. Not that it made a difference...

...

[Okay, she really shouldn't, but she reaches for the absinthe again. She doesn't drink from it immediately, though, just holding it.]

Anyway!! Who wants to hear stories about my awesome self!!